January 22nd, 2006


Goodnight My Love

My story is a long and boring one. My life has been filled with mediocrity and some really good episodes of Buffy. I get the occational quip in, make a reference to King of the Hill that no one gets, and call it a day. My life has its ups and downs, and most of the time I'm pretty content. But like I said, mediocre.

Sometimes I like saying I found myself when I found her. When I'm feeling nostalgic and romanticize my past, I say she gave me purpose. I was 13 when I met her, so I'm going on ten years pining for her. It's been on and off, but I've been pining for her nonetheless.

I never won her over. I never got to hold her hand. Made her laugh a couple times, but she was never mine. I watched as she gave her heart to others, and I grew jealous and lonely. I told myself I could be a better person and maybe someday she'd grow to love that person. But I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I know it's stupid to put all my dreams into something I felt when I was 13, but sometimes, it was enough for me. Not that I haven't done any maturing in ten years, I'm not a complete spaz. But she meant a lot to me. Despite how little contact we had and whatever was going on in my life, I still cared about her in my own way. I used to say that I loved her, but now I know better. It wasn't love, but it was something.

And now she's getting married, and I have to accept that.
  • Current Music
    "Carrie Anne" - The Hollies
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