December 22nd, 2005


The Zeida Project

I hate change. No, maybe that's not it exactly. I hate saying goodbye. I can't stand it. I'm not great at making friends (see my first three years in college for that), and it seems everytime I do, I have to say goodbye to them. I'm lucky to still have a few friends I made in high school, but why do I always have to say goodbye to people I've met over the past five years?

I should've learned my lesson sophomore year of college. I made friends with a student from Korea. We would have breakfast on Saturdays, and he was a really nice guy (and I still use that mousepad he gave me). But of course, when the year was over, I had to say goodbye to him. That was also the same year both my bosses left.

I spent the summer after my junior year in Ireland and made some good friends. But that was only temporary, we had our own lives to get back to after that. Then I finally made some friends my senior year, we even lived and worked together the summer after that. But then I had to say goodbye to them when I went home.

Today I had to say goodbye to a co-worker named Zeida. I've only been working with her since August, and I knew she was planning to go to law school, but I made friends with her anyway. She had a great sense of humor, and it felt like we were kindred spirits.

She's going away next week, and today was my last day at work before taking my vacation. It was hard saying goodbye to her. We'll keep in touch, but we'll never work together again. I'm going to miss just saying stupid things and both of us laughing.

What's the point? Why do we even make friends if we're just going to say goodbye to them after a while? Will I ever make any new friends that I'll actually be able to see on a regular basis for more than just a few months? I'm no good at this. I get sad when people leave Toon Zone! I guess this explains why I always withdraw from people when I first meet them.
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