Chris (90scartoonman) wrote,

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Find Me A Good Woman!

Wow, so Haley Joel Osment is 18 today? Makes me feel oooooold!

That has nothing to do with the subject at hand, just thought I'd mention it. Okay, so I'm really concerned about the casting of Wonder Woman. I mean, I took an AOL poll or something the other day, and just look at who they had up - Katie Holmes, Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, Lindsey Lohan?! Ugh! Zeus, Athena, Joss, SAVE ME!!! I'd actually prefer it not to be a Whedon actor, although if Joss thinks Moreena Baccarin can do it, then it could work.

But I was thinking, it's REALLY hard to cast a good female actress for a comic book character. And I mean hard in the sense that no one knows what they're doing or talking about.

Since I've been alive, there has only been ONE good actress to play a live action comic book heroine, and that's Dina Meyer as Barbara Gordon/Oracle. Okay, wait, I'm being a little too harsh. Helen Slater, from what I remember, was a good Supergirl, but I tend not to count that because even though that was "during my time", it's still part of the older age of superhero movies. Then there's Yancy Butler as Witchblade. I enjoyed her on that show, but I never read a Witchblade comic (and only have a few comics with her in it). Dina Meyer was cool, though, despite how bad the Birds of Prey show was.

Okay, to demonstrate, let me go down the list (and keep in mind I'm just talking about heroines, not supporting characters or bad guys):

Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl (Batman & Robin) - My God, she was terrible.

Mercedes McNabb as Sue Storm (Fantastic Four, 1994) - Whoo-hoo! Oh wait, she played Sue as a kid.

Rebecca Staab as Invisible Woman (Fantastic Four, 1994) - She gave an ehh performance, but it's not like anyone has seen that movie anyway.

Famke Jansen as Jean Grey (X-Men, X2) - Again, ehh. She was better in X2, but I found her to be wooden most of the time.

Halle Berry as Storm (X-Men, X2) - Horrible job in the first movie, didn't redeem it in the second.

Anna Paquin as Rogue (X-Men, X2) - She did the part she was given well, but she's not a faithful Rogue adaptation, so it's kinda cheating.

Ashley Scott as Huntress (Birds of Prey) - Abominable. There's a special place in Hell reserved for Ashley Scott that manifested itself when that show first came on the air.

Rachel Skarsten as Dinah Lance (Birds of Prey) - Re-read what I wrote for Anna Paquin and replace "well" with "poor" and "Rogue" with "Dinah Lance".

Lori Laughlin as Black Canary (Birds of Prey) - Stick to Full House, lady.

Jennifer Garner as Elektra (Daredevil, Elektra) - Okay, this one wasn't too bad (although let me confess I didn't actually see Elektra), but the Elektra character didn't feel realized.

Halle Berry as Catwoman (Catwoman) - Didn't see it, didn't need to, she sucked.

Jessica Biel as Abigail Whistler (Blade Trinity) - Didn't see it. Wait, how'd she get on this list?

Jessica Alba as Invisible Woman (Fantastic Four, 2005) - Awful, and further proof that no one knows what they're doing when they're casting movies!

I may have missed a couple here and there (I believe Vixen was on an episode of Lois and Clark), but Jessica Alba is the worst contender, where I'm concerned. Ever since I was 10, The Invisible Woman's been my favorite superheroine (okay, these days it's either Black Canary or She-Hulk, but Sue is always in my top ten), and Alba COMPLETELY missed the point of who the character is supposed to be. Was she supposed to be a sex object? A prize for Doom and Reed to fight over? Come on! This is Sue Richards here, the founding mother of the Marvel Universe! And she's reduced scene where she has to take off her clothes so she'd be naked?! Argh! There were so many things wrong with that movie, but casting Alba as Sue was probably the most damaging. And I SWEAR the next time someone says "Yeah, but she's hot", I will rip their balls off with my bare hands...WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!!

Ahem, back to my original point. Wonder Woman. The four most popular and well-known women of DC are Supergirl, Batgirl, Catwoman, and Wonder Woman (not counting Lois Lane). Supergirl and Batgirl tend to be overshadowed by the male counterparts who helped to make them popular, and Catwoman is the typical "bad girl" as far as movies and whatnot go (heck, I could've made an entire list of actresses who've played Catwoman, there's half a dozen of them). Marvel's women aren't that prominent because they're part of teams. Therefore, as far as I'm concerned, Wonder Woman is the most important superheroine. She stands on her own two feet and has a long and rich history.

Did Lynda Carter do a good job playing her? Probably, but that's like saying Lou Ferrigno is the best live action incarnation of the Hulk, it just doesn't match up today. I'm worried she'll get the wrong actress. I'm worried they'll play up her sexuality rather than what makes her unique and inspiring. If not in the script, then probably in the promos. This is Wonder Woman, people. Diana of Themyscira. She's powerful, graceful, passionate, brave, beautiful, strong, all these things. Can an actress capture all that? Of course, it happens in movies all the time. But can she be iconic? Can she be everything Wonder Woman is supposed to be and not stoop to the lowest common denominator by casting a big name who "always dreamed about being Wonder Woman as a girl"? I hope to Hera that she can.

I'd like to remain optimistic, but after what happened with Sue, I'm not sure if I can. I'll just be hoping for someone who can make me look at a live action Wonder Woman with the same sense of enjoyment I got from watching Lucy Lawless play Xena.
Tags: comic book movies, heroines, rant, wonder woman

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